Ten Things I Learned From My Family

These aren’t like a top ten list of things but rather random things I just remember learning. I either learned these things by watching the example of family members or by hearing them taught in our home.

1. God exists and He loves people. Why do bad things happen? I don’t know. But I /do/ know God /does/ exist and that He loves the people He created. He is everywhere I go, hears everything I say or don’t say and sees everything I do. You can pervert and twist that any way you’d like but it won’t change my mind about this being a good thing. I learned this from my mom and dad and my mom’s parents.

2. We are people of the land. The land is a part of us and we are a part of it. We can’t get away from it. It’s in our blood. When we are apart from it, we pine for it. Home is truly home and a safe haven. It’s not something to run away from or a trap. Rather the traps are set all around us and avoiding them can be a bit tricky. This is a good thing, too, because it keeps me on my toes. Some might call that paranoid. I guess they are as entitled to an opinion as any other person. I learned this from my dad and his mom and dad and brother.

3. We make do with what we have. We choose to be content. We don’t go begging for handouts because we want what everyone else has. We may not have the newest, coolest gizmos and gadgets. We may not have the most outstanding house on the highway. But we have an adequate domicile in which we can live a life that is abundant with the things that count the most-the joy of family living. This is not to say we don’t work hard which brings me to my next item. I learned this from both my parents and both my sets of grandparents.

4. Hard work never hurt anyone. Slave labor has. But hard work, willingly done, never hurt anyone. In fact, my grandfather (my dad’s dad) was one heck of a workhorse. As a farmer, he worked from the time he walked out the door after breakfast until sunset or after. Many are the times I remember bringing a sandwich lunch out to my dad, his brother and my grandpa as they worked the fields. Many were the nights we didn’t see them come home until well after dark, which in summer can be 9 p.m. Another familiar saying that goes along with this is “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Yeah, you can laugh at that one if you want to. I notice the number of obesity cases is climbing… I learned this from my parents and grandparents.

5. Life isn’t usually fair. Every now and again, you’ll get this really awesome fairness that happens when you least expect it. Cherish it. You might not get another chance. I learned that from my mother.

6. There will always be a few regrets. Learn from them. Move on. Living life with a bunch of regrets weighing you down is no fun at all. Of course, you may look at all these ‘Life Lessons of Mel’ and think I have no fun at all anyway. Stick around. You might be surprised.

7. Being yourself is really, really hard. I learned this from some extended family on my dad’s side. Anytime I tried to be myself, I was wrong. I think they might have been trying to ‘help’ me ‘fit in’ but when ‘fitting in’ wasn’t necessarily going to happen anyway, all that did was make things worse. Still I am more firm in my belief that being myself is by far the better thing to be. It’s worth all the ridicule, teasing, bullying, mockery, etc. Trust me.  No need to be bitter, though. Let that part of learning the lesson go and revel in the breath of fresh air that it is to be YOU.

8. Marriage. Ah! What an interesting thing it has become these days. Do any marriages last anymore? Do people even go into marriage with the idea, no, conviction that this is a lifetime deal? I did. And I learned that from my parents and grandparents. ‘Well, I’m just not happy.’ Or ‘We just don’t get along.’ (sigh) Try looking at things from your partner’s perspective. I remember my mom saying, “It takes two to tango.” It means there are two sides to every story and taking the time to hear both sides is usually worth it. Just because the grass might /look/ greener on the other side, doesn’t mean it really is. Consider that you might be seeing only part of the picture of that green good-looking grass. My mom talked to me before I got married and right after I got engaged. She said this, “Don’t ask yourself whether you can live with him but rather ask yourself whether you can live without him.” I knew. I was convinced my husband was the man for me. And we are still together. Through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death parts us? Yeah, I meant every word I boldly spoke that day before God and my family and friends.  I made a VOW.  I’m holding to it.

9. Never break a promise. If you do break a promise, you better have an awfully good reason for doing so. I learned that from my mom.

10. Life is short. Live it well. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Self-control. Do you see anything bad in this list? People who live by this list are few and far between. Some of you will recognize it. You should, and probably are, thanking God for the person who taught it to you. So far as I know, it is still not against any law to use any of these actions. I do not always measure up to this list. It’s a tough one. But it’s worth my time and effort, especially if it means someone gets a bit of help along the way. I learned this from my mom her parents.

This concludes my random list of ten things I learned from my family. Maybe I’ll share some more things later. I have 35 years of experiences to draw from. Maybe next time, I’ll share ten things I learned from going to school or maybe from church social life. I really do hope this list will help someone. It helps me to write things down. This way, I’m less likely to forget. Thanks for taking time to read it. Feel free to share your thoughts but please be courteous. Also keep in mind that these are my perceptions of the lessons taught in my home. They are my firm beliefs. I do my best to respect the beliefs of others and I expect the same respect in return. Thanks!

Hello Again!

Ah, the sun is shining brightly today! There's a breeze blowing billowy clouds across the sky and I have high hopes for my laundry getting fully dried on the line. :) And so I begin my work for the day. It's been a while since I last blogged and I'm hoping for a good blog this time.  I've found myself being quite productive lately.  I've been working on Renaissance costumes for my girls.  Their costumes will match one I recently finished for myself.  (Just a helpful hint-if you wear matching outfits to a big event, it's easier to keep track of your group.  Schools do it all the time now.  I do have to say our matching costumes are much more fun than a simple matching t-shirt.)  Once I'm done with the girls costumes, I'll move on to my menfolk.  I had to make lots of modifications to the pattern I'm using for the girls.  I don't do buttonholes.  I like lacing much better.  Since my bustier has laces /everywhere/, I decided to modify the girls' tops to also use lacing in similar places.  I'm almost finished putting them together and I'll be sure to post photos when they are complete. Once I'm done with the girls' costumes, I'll move on to my menfolk.  They need jerkins or doublets and I haven't decided how I'll accomplish those yet.  I think they need the open sleeve doublet which will show a bit of the shirtsleeve underneath.  That would be most similar to my beribbonned sleeve, I think.  I'm still trying to decide.  I'll also need to buy more supplies in order to accomplish this task.  But I'm so excited to finally be getting it done! Well, I guess I better stop typing so I can go work some more.  I have a long to-do list! :)

Awesome Giveaway From Simply Stacie!

http://simplystacie.net/spring-bling-mystic-pieces-giveaway/#comment-34296 Here's a link to Simply Stacie's blog. She's giving away some Spring Bling! :) Hope you enjoy your visit to her blog and to Mystic Pieces on Etsy. Have fun and good luck!

Special Diet Frustrations

My husband and I have been trying for several years now to eat a more kosher diet.  When we were sticking with the basics of the kosher diet, his cholesterol went down and he felt more energetic and healthier. And I was much happier with the way our health seemed to be going.  We had just moved to Texas when we decided to eat this way.  We are not Jewish. I think that confused people then, and I know it's confusing people now.  We are now in Louisiana where two of the staples are crawfish and pork-definitely not kosher.  What I would like to say is this: Please do not feel bad for me or my family because we have stopped eating things we feel are bad for us.  My husband and I do not feel deprived. We are not sorry we eat the way we do.  We should not have to explain ourselves or our choices to anyone but God.

Another major obstacle to our healthier choices are people who feel that we are depriving our children. To them I need to say:  Please do not give our children artificially colored/flavored candies and say things like, "Just this one time won't hurt."  My children hear you doubt our authority and they begin to lose faith in the people who care most about them, who take care of them every day, who sit with them through nightmares and sickness and emotional upheavals.  When we say our children cannot eat the candy you brought for them or bought for them, please don't take offense. Just ask me before you give them something the next time.  And if our choices for our children are too pricey for your pocketbook, no worries! They don't have to have candy or boxed brownies or frozen cookie dough with m-n-m's in them in order to love you. Really, my children are very loving little people.

And now for the rant...

All these thoughts have been rambling around in my head for several years now.  And today I got an email from a friend who was very strong and very loving in her response to a situation like this. Only she has a child that is autistic.  She's chosen a special diet very carefully for him that has improved his health and symptoms dramatically. She let him go to a neighbor's house (who she trusted and who knew about the dietary restrictions) and discovered that he'd had several things which were not included in his diet. I would've gone insane! She calmly dealt with the situation and has resolved to just make snacks for him to bring with him when he goes to visit people.  Why in the world would someone presume to feed a child they know is on a special diet without calling the parents first?  I do not understand this at all.  When a child is diabetic, you have to feed them very carefully.  This woman's chosen diet for her autistic child is no different.

Our children are not disadvantaged by having a diet that restricts certain kinds of fish and shellfish, pork, artificial colors, artificial sweeteners, artificial flavors, and chemical preservatives.  They are not worse off for using honey to sweeten things rather than processed, bleached sugar.  They are not deprived when they have the choice of home baked goods and home cooked food rather than McDonald's or Taco Bell or something quick out of a box.  Please do not assume that we are insane, uncaring or way too strict concerning our children's diet.  God gave them into our care and we have to choose the diet we feel is best for them.  Think of how you would feel if we came up to you and questioned your authority in front of your children.  Have we ever put any of you in a sticky position concerning your kids and the decisions you make concerning them?  If so, I heartily apologize!  I love all my friends and family, even the family I try not to talk to very often. (That's a whole different blog.)  But I will not have my authority questioned concerning whether or not my kids are going to eat /CANDY/ of all things! You know, if it was veggies or bread, I would possibly understand this better. But it's /candy/ that keeps getting pushed on my kids. "Oh! They /need/ something for the holiday!" Yes. They could use a new shirt, or a new pair of socks or a good book. Please don't give our kids anything without asking us first.  It's just safer and more polite and it reinforces our authority concerning their well-being. Thank you for your patience.